You have most certainly heard about tantra and been curious about what it really entails. We’re quite sure you have even been thinking about trying it or at least wanted to know more. But where to start? To help you avoid hours and hours of Google search, we here at Room Privée in Sydney, Australia, put together a beginner’s guide that will help you better understand what tantra is and how to start. Tantra, and everything surrounding it, is an extremely extensive subject which has been covered in hundreds (or even thousands) of books and scriptures for millenniums. We’re not going to the extremes here and will just simplify it with these five fundamentals.
What is tantra?
To make this a serious blog post, we have this one paragraph of history. Some scholars argue that the earliest form of tantra started in the Indus Valley (which is in north-western India and Pakistan) and Tibet between 3000 and 5000 years ago. This should be excellent news for you, to learn that people have been doing dirty deeds for thousands of years. You’re not alone! Anyway, the story says that tantra formed as a protest against religion, which claimed that in order to achieve enlightenment, sexuality should be rejected. We here at Room Privée translate that as f*****g for freedom!
What are practitioners seeking?
Basically, tantra seeks to expand the consciousness of the human being and connect it to the spiritual world. Contrary to popular belief, tantric sex has more to do with a mental approach rather than a specific technique. However, most people perceive it only as a practice in which the sexual act can last for hours and hours.
How tantric sex different from conventional sex?
What “conventional sex” mean is sex where the main objective is an orgasm, but tantric sex leaves ejaculation somehow in the background of all this magnificent act. Tantric sex is a journey where the aim is not orgasm, but to enjoy the journey itself.
To practice tantric sex, you will definitely need a patient partner who is on the same wavelength as you, since physical contact is extreme but the whole purpose is to fully experience each sensation through mutual caresses and massages.
So, let’s jump into the five fundamentals for tantra beginners:
1. The environment
Since tantric sex is a different experience than you usually have, prepare the environment by creating a super nice and special atmosphere; dim the lights, keep the temperature perfect (i.e. not too cold or too hot), relaxing music, scented candle, or whatever makes you comfortable. The goal is that all senses are active and stimulated.
2. The importance of breathing
Good breathing is one of the keys to tantric sex. Sit naked in front of each other, look each other in the eye, and breathe slowly until your breathing synchronises.
3. The importance of feeling
Start by kissing your partner gently and slowly increase the intensity. Complement the kisses with caresses and massages and remember not to rush it. Use massage oil as it helps stimulate the senses of touch and smell and intensifies the pleasure and sensation throughout the body. At first, do not touch the genitals. Concentrate on the moment, enjoy the sensations of pleasure without worrying about what comes next.
Remember that the penetration is just another step, but not a goal. The man has to learn how to master the rhythm during penetration, and if you’re super excited just rest a little bit and breath slowly. If orgasm is approaching fast, stop moving to avoid ejaculation or take it out and squeeze the head gently. Some readers might notice that this is more of a concern for the man. We girls can of course go on forever, so just imagine tantric sex between two women.
After few hours of caresses and massages, you will be at a point of major thrill that will make your bodies feel like one. When you finally have orgasm, you will feel immense pleasure from the top of your head to the toes. It truly is unlike anything you have experienced.
It’s not easy to reach maximum duration when you first start experimenting with tantric sex. But do not give up, because like anything in life, you will evolve with practice. Although Malcolm Gladwell explains in Outliers that it takes 10.000 hours to make you the best, we think you can get pretty good with far less hours than that.
Just remember that breathing, concentration and patience are the fundamentals for achieving optimal results.