The dream is free, the hustle is sold separately. We all have our fetish, our secret fantasies that we are more often ashamed to share, our wet dreams we keep to ourselves. Imagine how sad it would be to live a whole life without making your fantasies come true and be lying on your deathbed thinking “I wish had…”.
After all, sexual fantasies are the best way to boost our sex life; to break away from the routine and to bring back to life the desire that has been half-dead as we sleepwalk through our busy days. Although fantasies are countless, there are some that are more common than others, and, quite possibly, your partner has the same fantasy as you which would certainly create an atmosphere to make those wet dreams come true.
82% of men and 31% of women: Threesome
Three is the magic number! And three is not too crowded either. We tend to assume that having threesome is the typical fantasy of every man, but it is in fact quite common fantasy among women as well (although less...). This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone as you’re combining few forbidden pleasures. You’re having sex with someone new; you’re having two people dedicating themselves to pleasuring you; or otherwise, you’re giving pleasure to your partner as well as someone else. Although there’s no surprise that 82% of men fantasise about threesome, women seem to be picking up on this fantasy as well.
To make this fantasy come true you have to be quite open with your partner. Obviously. Remember, if you don’t ask, the answer is always going to be no. You and your partner have to be super sincere at all times; say what you want and what you don’t want, set boundaries of what is allowed and what’s not, and, more importantly, leave jealousy at the door. It can be a bit strange for the first time to watch someone please your partner, or your partner please someone else. But that’s the whole idea, right?
Emotions can be very strong during threesome so make sure everyone’s comfortable and excited. If it suddenly doesn’t feel right, it’s ok cancel the whole event. Make sure all three are communicating, both before and during the sex. Remember to focus on pleasing everyone and learn to enjoy watching your partner’s pleasure.
When it’s all done, remember to check in with your partner(s). Threesome can certainly create new emotions and there’s no guarantee that jealousy won’t show its ugly face even if you discussed the risk openly before. And please, try to stay (mostly at least) sober.
83% of men and 66% of women: The stranger
Yup, the classic of all classics; sleeping with a stranger. You’re sitting alone in a high-end cocktail bar and suddenly a smoking-hot stranger approaches you and asks you the long-awaited question: "Do you come here a lot?"
That pick-up line is of course quite cheap, but the beauty of the fantasy is everything else; the glamour of the high-end cocktail bar, your outfit, the desire you have for the sexy stranger. Men often play this fantasy in their mind as approaching a hot girl at the bar without fear of getting no for an answer. Their main explanation for having this desire is simply the excitement of having sex with a stranger, someone you don’t know.
Women, on the other hand, describe the whole stranger fantasy a bit more delicately. There’s something exciting about acting like a slut in secret – this imaginary scenario of being “dirty” and do something you’d generally be judged for.
For people in relationships, this fantasy doesn’t have to be unachievable. Make this one become a reality as well, without being unfaithful, by simply turning it into a roleplay. Book two separate rooms in a hotel, arrive separately, pick a new name you use for this game and create an imaginary person which you play, “accidentally” meet at a bar close by, flirt like you’re meeting for the first time. Go back to one of the hotel rooms together and surprise each other!
66% of women: Being dominated
Those Fifty Shades… huh! This fantasy seems to be much more common among women. A whole 66% have fantasised about being dominated by their partner on some occasion. The reason? Probably just because it’s fun! So, tie your lady up, tell her dirty things, and make her feel completely dominated by you. You’ll see how this will become one of your most intense nights to date.
If you’re unsure how to start with this, I recommend you take a look at a most my recent post of how to get into BDSM when you’re a complete novice.
88% of men and 79% of women: Oral sex
Both receiving and giving oral sex are among the most common sexual fantasies where 88% of men and 79% of women fantasise about oral sex. It’s a bit surprising (or not) to see data like this, when one of the main things people are dissatisfied with in their sex life is the lack of oral sex.
The oral sex fantasy should be easily solved. Just get down there and make it real! How? Really, you don’t know how? Here are some basics:
Use your tongue and lips as you were kissing someone (i.e. French kiss). Lick it, suck it, move your tongue in circles. Make it wet. Whatever you want. Use your hands. Keep a rhythm. Don’t lose the rhythm!
Obviously, this can apply to both men and women. After seeing the data about oral sex, I think I should dedicate my next post to oral sex! It seems to be needed :)
82% of people: Get out of bed
This last fantasy I’d like to mention, is to simply have sex in places that are out of the norm. Both men and women, 82% of them, have fantasised about this.
This is another fantasy that can easily become a reality. We know the bed all too well, so why not start with doing it around the house? Or somewhere away from home, like hotel, the bathroom of a disco/pub/restaurant, at your parents’ house after a family dinner, on the beach during night, or go mountain hiking in the middle of nowhere and have sex when you reach the top. At least no one’s going to hear your screams from there… The world is too big to just play in bed!
So, whatever your sexual fantasy is, don’t be shy to share it with your playmate!