If you think I’m revealing some secret spots on the female body that only girls know about and I’m revealing this 5000-year-old secret to you now, then you’re mistaken. It’s actually just common sense. Although this advice can definitely turn out to be quite useful, please please please remember that all women are different, so the advice below is just general info. First and foremost, you better listen to your woman and adapt to her, just like a proper soldier adapting to different battles under different conditions.
1. The clit is not a doorbell button
Or what…? Well maybe. Just don’t hammer it! The clitoris is one of the most sensitive spots on the female body and it’s possible to orgasm in less than a minute, i.e. if you know how to touch it.
First you have to locate it, obviously. It’s the little pearl that marks the beginning of the lips. Secondly, again, remember that not all women like to be stimulated the same way; one finger, two, in circles, tender touches… you have to discover and understand what your partners likes best!
2. Do not forget the nipples
You all go completely crazy when you see tits; big, small, or medium, whatever, but then you leave them abandoned when it’s sexytime! Just don’t be that guy… Did you know that there are women who are capable of reaching an orgasm simply from stimulating the nipples?
Cherish them, lick them, bite them gently, or even take it a step further and use some quite amazing toys to stimulate them. You’ll see immediately how your girl lights up.
3. Don’t act like the Duracell bunny in bed
I don’t mean that you shouldn’t last for some time, but keep in mind you can’t rabbit your lady with the same tempo and intensity the whole time! We’ve already got rabbits for that specific purpose.
Ideally, put some motion in it, mix it up a bit, and pay attention to your partner’s reaction. Remember, adapt do her (I’m not saying taking a quicky is a bad thing, as that can be super exciting sometimes). And please, do NOT finish before her!*
*In case you’ve got issues with controlling premature ejaculation, then this trainer might be your thing.
4. Sex is communication
You don’t have to be a complete motor-mouth the whole time and talk your girl to death after each session. But it’s good to communicate what you like most, what you don’t (don’t be shy to say it), what you want to try etc. More importantly, it’s crucial to communicate during the sex itself. Ask her if she likes it this way or that way, if she feels comfortable. Those questions are not supposed to feed your ego that everything you do is amazing; you really should see them as a way of adapting to her and do things better. It’s about all those beautiful details that facilitate the flow of information.
5. Make her feel like a goddess
Men are sometimes guilty of showing no emotions during sex. If you get turned on by seeing her enjoying the sex, hear her moaning, I can guarantee that it works the other way around as well. If you enjoy the sex, show it.
When you feel like you are exceptionally good in bed, like some sort of a sex-god, you enjoy yourself more and you more easily reach an orgasm. Same goes for her! So, tell her how beautiful she is, how much she turns you on, how much you enjoy it etc.
6. Sometimes less is more
For some reason, we sometimes talk about the missionary position as the worst thing in sex; something too normal, boring, and only for those who just want to get off. Well, for you to know, it’s horseshit. The missionary is a very common position, yes, and it’s precisely because it’s comfortable, intimate, allows for deep penetration and stimulation of the clitoris at the same time. If you think your girl has difficulties reaching an orgasm, start with the missionary, keep eye-contact and be intimate. Then, you can review your Kama Sutra and other acrobatic sex acts.
7. Each person is different
Yes, we’ve mentioned it before, and we’re doing it again. Maybe your ex-girlfriend just loved to hear you say that you loved her, while you gently stroked her hair during sex. Then, it’s entirely possible that those gentle strokes and sweetness do nothing for your current girlfriend; she might want you to spank her bum and show her that you’re in charge. And your next girlfriend might want both, or something entirely different. You get the point.
Sleeping with someone for the first time is sort of like losing your virginity again (less clumsy of course), in the sense that you just don’t know what to do. Give yourself some time to get to know each other in bed, experiment, discover what you two like together. Your effort will be rewarded.
8. Orgasm is not everything
Many women fake it a bit, or exaggerate how much they enjoy it, because if they don’t, they believe that you might think they didn’t enjoy it at all. But hey, it’s entirely possible to enjoy sex without reaching an orgasm, and there’s an ocean of literature on that subject alone with the most famous one being the Kama Sutra (if you’re interested, then here’s a quick read on how to start with that). So, don’t punish yourself too hard if your partner doesn’t orgasm one day. Just remember, don’t you ever be selfish in bed. We girls hate that. This is a party of two (at least) and both want to enjoy, so if you act selfishly you won’t be invited again.