When it comes to your sex life, how much time do you devote to oral sex? Do you enjoy giving it? If your answer is “a little bit” and “mmm yeah maybe a bit”, then this post is for you.
For some reason, oral sex is sometimes labelled as that boring thing everybody wants to receive but nobody likes to give. Hmmm sad. Very sad. Oral sex is absolutely amazing, and if you know how to do it properly, it will lift everything to another level.
But hey, it’s not enough to just open your mouth or give couple of licks. You have to work a bit harder than that. Here below are some tips that will take your oral game to new heights and make your partner veeeery happy.
Both men and women
One super important thing before we go through what to do is this unisex tip for everyone: Hygiene! Pretty please!
It’s Sunday and you’ve spent the weekend in your pyjamas without showering. We’re all guilty of that sometimes. But don’t be lazy, take a shower, and wash your intimate parts thoroughly. Nothing kills the mood more than going down on someone – with your porn star plan ready to be executed – and you suddenly realise that it smells bad down there. Very bad.
Create the desire
Play with them a bit before you actually dive in. Kiss the neck, the chest, nipples, the belly, the thighs … go down little by little, until your partner is dying for having you touch the sweet spots. Nothing creates the desire as much as making them wait a bit.
Apparently, some people really don’t like the taste or smell of genitals. It’s understandable that it can be unpleasant to some, even if it’s pleasant to others. For women it can vary throughout the menstrual cycle, and for everyone the smell and taste can actually depend on what we eat. If this is something that bothers you, you can use flavoured lubricants with (e.g. chocolate, vanilla, strawberry flavours) to hide bad smell/taste if it’s persistent.
Play with temperature
Have you ever kissed your partner right after they have had an ice cube melting in their mouth? Cool yeah? Well, down there it’s pretty cool as well. By playing with hot and cold contrasts, you’ll see how your partner gets even more stimulated.
Do not forget the hands
Yes, I know it’s called “oral” sex because of the mouth, but the hands can really help. During fellatio, the hands can help to exert more pressure on the penis, thus cause more pleasure; likewise, during cunnilingus, the fingers can stimulate the G-spot while the tongue is engaged in external stimulation. It will certainly increase the pleasure if you include a G-spot vibrator such as this one which will (I personally guarantee…) make your partner climax faster than you can imagine.
Another great, and sometimes forgotten, pleasure point are the lips. They’re so close to the clitoris but feel so far away when forgotten. Stimulate them with caresses or vibrations; use your fingers or get a little help from multipurpose vibrator like this one which will give an extra pleasure to any game!
So, let’s start with the fellatio, i.e. oral sex performed on a man, and go through some basics which will not only make him orgasm, but also make you feel like the sexiest person alive while giving it to him. Remember, it’s just you, your mouth, and nothing else that is making him reach an unforgettable orgasm.
Use your tongue
Up, down, in circles, in long strokes, with flat tongue, fast, slowly, sucking, sipping. Just don’t use only your lips and remember to involve the tongue.
Do not skimp on salvia
It’s like the lubricant during anal sex; never leave it out. The heat and humidity of the salvia will make him feel spasms of pleasure, and it will help your hand to slide more easily. Spit on the tip of the penis, a lot, slowly. We all know it’s super sexy.
Don’t forget the balls
This is an important point. They should never be left out during oral sex as the testicles are one of the most sensitive areas on guys. Suck them gently, massage them with your tongue, and since you’re in the area run your tongue in circles on the perineum, which is the patch of skin that lies between his family jewels and anus. It’s loaded with nerve endings that, when stimulated, can give amazing sensations. Or, get yourself a massager wand to play with the perineum and the balls. That’s guaranteed to deliver vibrating sensations which will seriously increase the stimulation.
Look him in the eyes
If you follow the advice above to the letter, he’ll become even more aroused if you keep looking him in the eye. Men are far more visual creatures than us women and will be more turned on by what they see. Keep the light on an enjoy having him watching you perform. It will also excite you a lot to see his reactions to your skills.
Since the penis is super sensitive, especially when hard, just a little bit of teeth can be quite painful. I’m not saying you can’t tease with an innocent bite, but in general it’s best to keep the teeth from touching the penis at all.
Here’s a thing all guys need to hear: You have to do more! It’s good that you enjoy receiving it, but when you’re asked to return the favour you just put on a face and … “what?”. That’s not gonna work.
So, let’s dive right in and go through some fundamentals that can be the first step towards you becoming the Grand Master of the noble art of Cunnilingus.
It’s not only the clitoris
Just as during intercourse you sometimes forget the clitoris, during cunnilingus you often forget that there’s not only the clitoris. You should be nurturing the clitoris, the lips, the vagina and, if you’re adventurous, also the anus. Lick and suck on her clitoris and lips, put your tongue inside.
Take initiative and show empathy
Nothing excites a woman more than a man who dies to give oral sex; who enjoys doing it, and who pays attention to what she likes or does not like during the practice.
Next time you are a lone, surprise her by going down on her and show her your confidence and desire. Pay close attention to her vaginal contractions, shakes and hip movements to know what she likes and what she doesn’t and act accordingly.
Don’t do it too hard, and certainly not too soft. Strive to find a balance with the pressure you put with your tongue. Imagine that your tongue is the best sex toy available; i.e. multi-position, multi-speed. Surprise her with changes of rhythm and position; flat tongue, tongue bent, full speed, slowly… You get my point.
It’s understandable if you find pleasing a woman being a bit complicated. We’re complex creatures! But hey, no one said it would be easy. And if you’re still a bit confused, check out this article about tips and tricks to female orgasm. It’ll help! I guarantee.
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Of course, it’s possible to write lengthy articles with all the details about how to please men and women with oral sex. But all people are different, and their needs are different. What makes you good is to observe their reactions and adapt to their needs. Following these points here above will get you half the way, at least.